Jessica's "A Public Affair" video review

Pow!
Bam!
Swoosh!

That's would could have been expected with X-Men and Prison Break's Brett Ratner directing her video, but there was no such luck. The video began with tongue in cheek stabs at celebrities with Jessica Simpson, Eva Longoria, Christina Applegate, Christina Milian, and even Ryan Seacrest all going on about how famous they want to be. The most obvious dig was probably Applegate's statement, "I want to be so famous that I have to have my babies in Africa." After the "acting" in the limo scene, they went into where all celebrities go THE ROLLER RINK!

This is the best that Brett Ratner could come up with? Puh-lease, this has Jessica's stink all over it. I can imagine her coming up with the treatment: "Oh my gah! Let's go roller skating! I want to wear daisy dukes. Is it chicken or fish? I can act, really I can!"


We were then treated to a brunette Andy Dick playing the roller skate attendant that rudely drops the skates the the normal people and makes a quick 180 in the face of the "beauties." There were odd fantasy scenes involving licking, photo booths, ice cream, and hair pulling between Jessica and Maria Menounos. These "fantasies" were hardly appealing and only made me cringe at the sight of Jessica Simpson licking Andy Dick...eww...yuck.

Oh and then there was the guy that looked like a younger Nick Lachey. She seduced him with her cool dance moves on the floor followed by doing the splits and her longingly reaching her hand out to him. These crazy celebs and their courting rituals. I must take notes!

This public affair culminated in a dizzying lap around the rink that gave me flashbacks of the movie Roll Bounce. Frankly, Bow Wow and his friends made it a lot more appealing. She skates, she sings, she dances...she can do anything (I didn't say she did it well!).

The video is quite dull and perhaps the most interesting part was being able to recognize Brent Bolthouse's (The Hills) cameo as the DJ. Jeers instead of cheers to both Ratner and Simspon.

Source: YouTube